Olympic sized ads? Give me a break.

 “The most technologically advanced coverage of any event to all Australians with its all-encompassing coverage”.

That was Channel Seven earlier this year plugging their upcoming Rio Olympic Games coverage.

If what viewers have been served up over the opening days of the Games is ‘technologically advanced’ then I have seriously misjudged the changing world we live in.

Somewhere between the millions of advertisements for that bizarre cooking show and Eric Thomson on a secluded beach, I’ve seen some snippets of Olympic action. Wait. The Swisse ads are live Olympic action aren’t they?

Then there is Telstra’s commercial for the Games where despite not being the official telecommunications sponsor, seem somehow to have snagged the rights to every second ad. Meantime Woolworths are claiming to be the fresh food partner of the Olympics. I dread to think what a fresh food partner even does.

So you can imagine my excitement of having a Monday morning off, switching on the TV hoping to have some quality time watching the Olympic Games. Apparently not. All I can see is Samantha Armytage sitting in a half empty studio with some random man wearing some very bizarre outfits, all the while being cheered on by random middle aged people wearing even more strange attire. Huh! What happened to Rio!?

Next minute I am hearing about Blake Lively talk about her post baby body. I can’t be sure, but I don’t think she won a gold medal for that. Maybe I missed her event though because of the ads.

Where the hell is Kochie? Why is Sam in a studio in Sydney, Mark Beretta doing random reports every five minutes from Rio and then there is Sam Mac holding a baby by a swimming pool in Brisbane? Did Seven ban anyone called Sam from heading to Rio?

Scrap Sunrise – we do not need it for the next two weeks. The morning is the only time Australian’s can get any taste of Olympic action, given pretty much everything else is on at awful hours of the night. The least we can ask for is some live sport as we prepare to head off for work.

It gets worse though for Seven. Over the weekend, the Olympics on 7 app was plugged once or twice by awkward presenters standing in yet another empty Sydney studio. My favourite part of the presenter’s role is the small talk they make with Amanda Abate after she gives us a fresh news update. Seriously. What is with the word fresh and these Games?

This aforementioned app has already had multiple crashes because it had reached peak demand. I understand this I suppose. Four years is probably not enough time to test the app in heavy traffic. Another year would have seen it as a success I think.

If you want full access to the app, that will be $20. $20?! You are a free to air television channel. FREE TO AIR! I am not paying $20 for ultimate access, when it doesn’t even work.

The most sport I have seen is when I play the game of channel surfing to try to work out why what I was watching three minutes ago has moved channels. Take the mens road race. Started out on 7Mate, moved over to 7, went onto the app, back to 7Mate and then concluded on 7. Come on! Show the sport in full. Some of these sports we only get to see once every four years. If I want to watch an Aussie play table tennis or row a boat or better still do some random manoeuvre on some uneven bars, I want to see it through to the end and on the same channel.

Seven has the rights to the next Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang in 2018 and the next Summer Olympics in Tokyo in 2020. Surely that is enough time to sort out this fresh technology and get it right.

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